Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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