Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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