# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize