I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I have fence marks all over my body
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
