Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
