This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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