I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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