shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
