You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
