Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Who died my cat blue again?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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