You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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