so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
