Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
