I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize