ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i would punch a child for taco bell
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
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