went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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