No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
