i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
It's shark week go big or go home
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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