wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Please don't give away my fajitas
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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