I'm really into asian looking animals
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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