If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
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