We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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