I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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