I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
he quoted the bible to break up with me
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Randomize
