I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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