I'm going to jail i love you
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
