Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize