just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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