So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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