I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
The Olympian is in my bed
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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