He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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