People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
