I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
