Me. At least after what I've been through.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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