I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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