Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
