I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
