Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
