Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
