Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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