Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize