that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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