He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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