Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
