After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
