dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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