i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
