im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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