I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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