I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Randomize
