Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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