Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
