So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
