Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
