Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize