you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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