I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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