A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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