Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
