I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
