I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
