weddingsv make me drug and hornr
What did we do last night that was yellow?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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