Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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