He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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