my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
