these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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