Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
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