everyone is single if you try hard enough
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
