Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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