How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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