I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
