Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
It's rum buckets o'clock
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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