well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
