Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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