Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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